MINDCare = Healthy thoughts, feelings, behaviors: MINDCare = healthy minds!

Got Anger?

2010-05-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

My Anger class starts tonight at Howard County General Hospital's Wellness Center.

May 6th, 6-8p.m.

The class continues for three consecutive weeks and provides information regarding anger, causes, effects, as well as understanding options individuals have regarding their moods and emotional reactivity to events, circumstances, behaviors, people, internal cues, or anything that could potentially cause a negative reaction.

Please learn how to manage your emotions. It is a wonderful and beneficial skill to improve upon.

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx

Guilt and other negative emotions!

2010-04-29T06:51:00.000-07:00

Guilt is a terrible emotion. Though like with other negative emotions it can be a red flag and help identify that changes are necessary. Other than being a red flag guilt is unpleasant and destructive just like any other negative emotions, or in other words stress.

Guilt is a result of a negative reaction or bad thoughts you have about a past event. Key word "past". Unfortunately we can never change the past, which is why it is so darn important to think, feel, and behave in healthy ways in the present. duh the present will soon( too soon) become our past.

This is why psychological wellness is so important. Let's first not do things that will allow guilt to happen. OK so if you do make a bad choice and now it is in the past...you cant change it!

Whenever you have identified that you are in a bad place, feeling negative, the first step is to ask yourself what thought is causing this feeling. By now you know that your thoughts cause your feelings ..right..? if not we need to talk about that or you need to read the article which explains that so you can get it.

Once you can ID the thought causing the negative feeling or in this case guilt, then ask yourself can I change it or not? Ususally you cannot if in the past. Maybe you can talk or apologize to someone and that might help but basically you cannot change what has happened. So do what you can but you still need to accept it as the past, learn from it, commit to making changes, hence avoiding the same mistake, and move on to a better healthier place.

It's the people who keep making the same mistakes that might want to consider professional help!

happy healthy day to you!

Patience

2010-04-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

Patience? Patience is tough sometimes. When we get caught up with all our daily responsibilities and challenges, being patient can be difficult. Patience is a virtue. It is developed from either good genetics or learned from those we have interacted with the most.
Being patient can be very beneficial to our health both psychological and physical.
Bottom line is we either are a patient person or else we must commit to developing patience if we want to be healthier. (especially parents)
This is not to say when something needs to be addressed we should tolerate or sit by and idly hope for it to change. NO. Just when you can not do anything to change the situation at the moment and must accept it or some aspect of it or just for now then be patient. Use the time to figure out what needs to change or what you can do so you are not challenges again.
Patience takes practice. lots of practice if it doesn't come naturally. Bottom line is our feelings come from our thoughts. What are you thinking when you are lacking patience? Change your thoughts and your feelings will change too.
If you cant figure this out on your own or need a little assistance seek professional help. This is an easier fix than you think.
For parents, remember they are the children. Try not to use up all your patience on one child, your spouse, or at work...hahaha you will need a reserve at all times. deep breath the challenge is right around the corner.
It is not what others do but how we react to them that might help change future behavior.

It is indeed a wonderful virtue to possess and so beneficial to develop the skill of patience!

It is our nature? or is it our nature?

2010-04-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

What does this mean exactly to people? As I sat with a friend the other day , he said to me" it is just her nature" I replied "well actually it is more a learned behavior." He arguable stated no she is just like that. and on and on. He is a smart guy, a typical responsible citizen, yet he along with so many people still walk around thinking that everyone just is as they are. That there is nothing or very little anyone can do about the way the think, feel, or behave.

it is so frustrating for me and so many in my field to experience this sort of mindset from so many so often.

Can people please learn about their own psychological well being and understand that there are so many things to learn and so much people can do to be healthier.

People can choose how to think which does directly impact their feelings and behavior. People learn to be happy, optimistic, and healthy.

Naturally there are illness, disease and disorders of brain function and that can be assessed and treated also, but long before medications or clinical intervention is required there are tons of skills and learned behaviors that can be improved upon to promote health ...positive moods, interpersonal skills, safety, emotional management, etc etc...

People are not just as they are... they are a sum of genetics and learned behaviors! Our hard wiring sets the limits so to speak but all interactions can teach us something...we can choose to learn from our experiences.

Please seek this information and understand human behavior..you are a human for heaven's sake and interact with other humans constantly..kind of important ..YES?

Parents need to teach and learn how to teach their children the same.

Ronald McDonald??

2010-04-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

Really??? Are you kidding me? Is this how confused and backward our society really is ...that they are really trying to get Ronald McDonald retired? And because people think HE is the cause of obesity???

REALLY? and isn't he a fictional person..no I mean a fictional clown?

Come on people...learning good eating habits does not start with the guy who represents a fast food chain or from any fast food places???

Eating habits and choices are up to each individual and many many people read, learn, and choose healthy foods...many parents teach their children and expose their children to healthy foods so they also develop healthy eating habits...

Please what's next...the Easter bunny should retire too because he makes kids eat chocolate...

or how about Santa because he makes children not live in the true spirit of Christmas and also makes children have a sense of entitlement if he brings too many toys???

Don't blame Ronald if you are not smart enough to educate yourself about what you want to put into your bodies or to teach your children, or to make better healthier choices...intelligent people even children do not put food in their mouth because of a clown...they do so because it tastes good and they enjoy it and it is easy..hence the term fast food. so enjoy on a rare occasion as an unhealthy treat like so many others...and promote Ronald in all his efforts to support and educate about health and caring for those in need - "Ronald McDonald House?"

"Ronald Mcdonald retiring will not be the answer to obesity!"

Being overly sensitive..causes issues!

2010-04-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sensitivity can be a good thing. It can be helpful when one person can understand the feelings of another person. However, when a person assumes all sorts of negative feelings or thinking of another person which are completely untrue then sensitivity has taken a turn for the worst.

Sensitivity is about feelings. Healthy sensitivity is about understanding or interpreting feelings accurately. Sensitivity can mean either a person experiencing empathy, which is understanding or relating to another persons feelings, or experiencing their own feelings as a result of another persons behavior.

The observation or interaction with another person does not guarantee accurate interpretation of that person's feelings. You cannot see thoughts or feelings, we can only interpret what they might mean. There are many factors to be considered when interpreting others' behavior.

Consider the Attribution Theory. If you are not familiar email me and I will explain it.

Also over sensitivity which can result from many causes leads individuals to automatically assume negative thoughts and feelings of others. UGH.

If you find yourself often feeling or thinking that others have negative thoughts, opinions, or feelings about you then please find an effective therapist to help you work out these deep rooted issues. Or else you will be miserable and so will your friends, family, and mates.

stupid comment on the a morning show

2010-03-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

It was a sign of shear ignorance which I am attempting to combat every day.

Quote "if people were always positive then we would all be walking around giddy?"

OMG...no sir you are incorrect and in left field. being positive is NOT correlational with being giddy! And what exactly does giddy mean? Flighty, scatterbrained, dizzy, woozy, frivolous, capricious, ??? should I go on?

I think not..so being angry, negative, argumentative, reactive, upset, or feeling or behaving in other unhealthy ways is better...normal?

Accepted as the norm maybe because there are so many unhealthy people in the world but giddy=positive..that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard!

the poor fellow!

Snow Days and Attitude!

2010-02-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

Wow! Snow conditions certainly brings out the character in people. Any change in routine, inconvenience, extreme conditions, etc. can provoke the best or worst in people. Coping skills are critical during challenging times.

As I always say to clients...It is not what happens, it is how we react that determines how we feel!

First question is..can you change or or not? (not the snow)
Second: How do you want to feel about the situation?

It is snow!..so the first choice is that people can be negative or positive.
It is temporary.

Plan, shovel, write letter or emails about what you think can be done better, run for office or apply for a city job so YOU can do better, learn more about why things do not seem to be done to your satisfaction, be patient, be understanding, suck it up, ....

People can choose to see the beauty, welcome the challenge, be creative, learn something, enjoy the time that they must give up control temporarily, do the things in the home that they usually do not have time to do, have fun, build a snowman, there are sooo many opportunities anticipate and plan for spring and just get excited about experiencing all the seasons!

Physiology of Psychology

2010-01-31T07:22:00.000-08:00

People need to understand at least a little more about their physiology and psychology, as well as their physiological psychology.

Physiology is the study of how living organisms function.

Psychology is the study of human thinking, feelings, and behavior as well as the relationship among them. [and a few other things :-)]

Physiology of psychology is the study of the brain, nervous systems, and all their functions.

Everything we think, feel, and do begins with our brain and nervous systems.

Fascinating,complex, and yet so ignored by so many!

got good communication skills?

2010-01-25T06:12:00.000-08:00

Most people do not give much thought to communication...much less their communication skills.

Many consider speaking and hearing the only aspects of communication.

Many problems that people experience in life are related to poor communication skills, specifically inability to accurately express oneself and inability to interpret what is being said or observed as it is intended.

Communication involves much much more than simply talking and hearing words.

Just for starters and a little food for thought...other aspects of this complex topic, communication, include verbal and non verbal methods of communicating, listening, comprehension, thought processing, interpretation, schemas, attribution theory, brain function, intonations, pace, volume, body language, dialect, idiolect, habitual behavior, intellect, learning, retention, gender, experience, personality, knowledge, not to mention perception, physiology, social, molecular and other biological differences related to speech, hearing and other communication brain functions.

talk much? what are you saying? what are you hearing? what are you communicating?

Committment in the New Year

2010-01-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

So as the new year begins people think a lot about ways to improve the upcoming year. Many think of ways they might want to get healthier. Thinking of these ways to be healthier is great but just thinking or even saying what on emight want to do is NOT enough.

Many people start out the year with wonderful intentions that over time fall by the wayside. There are a few approaches and facts that might help people make sure that individuals are able to follow through and keep improving year after year.

As people experience life they can learn. It is the learning that promotes making positive changes and improvements in order to live a better healthier life.

So if people be sure that their ideas are reasonable and doable is a good start. They need to be measurable, specific, and concrete. Not to many and not to major. Big changes must occur with a plan and over time to be successful.

Then they need to write down their goals and be sure they file them in a place where they can utilize them for motivation. But the most important thing is mental commitment!

Be sure you are mentally committed if you plan to succeed.
Commitment involves 100% determination and ongoing daily reminders and choices to make changes and improve.

So commit to your health!

Concerned about fantasy vs lying

2009-12-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

Parents will ask about children telling stories. Parents are concerned that a child who tells untrue stories about events might be learning that saying things that are not true is ok.

Remember behaviors are part of a child's psychological health. Psychological health incorporates both genetics and learning. Children usually should have begun to develop logic by age 7 ish. Brain development, as well as social development, and other learning, are their reason for saying things or making up things, but each child is unique. Development is individualized. There is a range of approximate age when children begin to understand the difference between real and fantasy. Parents should give thought to other examples regarding their child's demonstration of this ability to know the difference. http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/piaget.shtml

Empathy is learned therefore can begin at a very early age yet pragmatic and social experiences seem to be more conscious starting around age 3. Again learned behaviors are individualized for many reasons. There are many factors which affect learned experiences. Parents of course play a significant role in teaching empathy. Remember, giving children information in a positive way will be most effective to promote children to be receptive and responsive to the information. http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/how-children-develop-empathy/

Another important consideration is motive. What is the child's objective. If he or she is having fun, being creative, or demonstrating healthy harmless fantasies..fine, but if children are learning to use fibs (nice word for lying) to manipulate, create confusion, be harmful, or avoid taking responsibility for an inappropriate behavior then parents must address the situation with implementation of appropriate consequences in order to teach children that telling the truth is important for many reason and that lying can and probably will cause them to lose many privileges in life.

Remember as always, learn about child development from reputable sources. And for more information you should always contact a child behavioral expert.

Happy parenting!

Forgiveness

2009-12-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness is a virtue and a healthy mindset as well as a healthy behavior. The interesting aspect is that forgiveness is much more healing for the forgiver than it is for the perpetrator/offender.

A little forgiveness eases the stress and reduces the energy required for remaining angry. Staying angry inhibits the ability to think positively. There are many cognitive distortions that people are accustomed and conditioned to utilize in order to maintain unhealthy ways of thinking. Staying angry requires lots of these distortions all at once.

Imagine of individuals channeled all that same energy and effort into being positive, kind, happy, healthy, and productive.??

Another note on communication skills

2009-12-10T04:30:00.000-08:00

If people would learn to express their feelings respectfully and accurately on a regular basis, then other would probably be more receptive and responsive to to them.

Generally individuals are simply emotionally reactive without conscious thought. They say and do things because of how something makes them feel, instead of being a critical thinker and making sure they have all the information about the situation or the person. The react before they take the time to consider all possible causes of someone actions or comments.

Also when expressing feelings people more often then not simply state something about someone else. They begin too many sentences with "you" instead of "I".

Many people could benefit tremendously from improving their communication skills.

Loneliness

2009-12-02T12:18:00.001-08:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34209727/ns/health-behavior/

Learn more!

2009-11-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

It does not matter what you want to do...learning more will be helpful. The more you learn about any interesting topic, hobby, activity, career, etc. etc. you will benefit and be better prepared.

You will be able to make informed decisions and better choices for yourself, when you are educated about any topic that is of interest to you.

So...are you interested in being healthy and happy? Are you interested in learning about how and why you think, feel and behave as you do?

Would you be interested in improving your communication skills and interactions with others?

earn about you mind ! There is plenty to learn.

Expectations/should systems

2009-11-18T15:10:00.000-08:00

Individuals often have expectations about how others should think, feel and behave. Yes it is important to have standards for yourself and even others the problem occurs when people allow the behavior of others to cause stress or negativity in their lives. It is not productive to allow other peoples thoughts, feelings or behavior to cause you stress. It is productive and healthy to decide what you want to do in response or in reaction to others thoughts, feelings, or behavior.

So if you want to be healthier, there are a few things you can do. You can either gain a better understanding of why people are thinking, feeling, or behaving as they are when it does not meet your expectations, and often with more knowledge you will probably be less stressed. You could change your expectations. You can plan on being proactive and taking positive productive action in response to whatever is causing you stress. Or you can choose to not allow yourself to get stressed about things you cannot change, just accept it! You actually have lots of options rather than just being stressed! You must develop skills for having appropriate expectations.

YELLING!!!

2009-11-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

Do you yell? Raise your voice !? Do you do this because you think the person you are yelling at will listen, be more responsive, intimidated? Or do you yell because you are simply reacting to your own anger, frustration, etc.?
Bottom line is that raising your voice is ineffective in motivating most people to change their behavior. Yelling can intimidate some people but only if they are vulnerable. Mostly yelling will escalate a situation and can definitely make things worse.
Also yelling, even if a form of venting is still the behavior which is resulting from a negative feeling or emotion, is not healthy. Anger and other negative emotions are forms of stress. They are a persons way of responding negatively to circumstances. Stress is very unhealthy.
So if yelling is ineffective and unhealthy, maybe people can learn how to not get so upset.
Any stress is unhealthy. People can larn to understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are related and therefore learn to manage their reactivity to challenging situations better.
This does require a little education, effort, and practice, but what a wonderful skill to develop and master. Whew! Reduce or eliminate stress and the negative effects of stress ! Yeah! Great idea and anyone can do it!

Positive Parenting Class

2009-11-12T16:16:00.001-08:00

"Positive Parenting"
Parenting can be the hardest job on the planet!

1) Learn to reduce, minimize, or eliminate your stress and negativity!
2) Learn all the proven effective, positive parenting strategies.
3) Develop a discipline system that works for your family.
4) Learn how to perfect implementation of your discipline system!

If you are a parent who wants their children to be:
- Safe - Happy - Healthy - Respectful - Responsible - Confident - Independent - Able to think for themselves - Cooperative - Motivated -
- Able to make good choices - Communicative - Self disciplined - Enthusiastic about having a good relationship with you - Successful -

Instructor: MS Child /Adolescent psychotherapist, Parent Expert/Coach, PhD student
Location: Baltimore City - Canton area
Fees: $25.00 per participant, 40$ per couple
Date/Time: December 2 & 9th, 2009 , 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. (4hrs)
Registration is required
Seating is limited

For more information: Contact Dianne DeSantis MS
positiveparentingusa@gmail.com
Call 410-528-3329
www.positiveparentingusa.com

Attribution Theory

2009-10-25T03:52:00.000-07:00

Please give some thought to the idea that there are often potentially many reasons that a behavior occurs. Just because you experience or observe someone 's behavior does not necessarily mean that you completely or accurately understand why the behavior is occurring.

Behaviors such as what someone says or does, often results from many attributing factors. Be sure to consider all factors and clarify your assumptions.

You will probably find that you will experience less stress.

Sorry ...Vacation Time!

2009-10-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lapse in blogging. I took a month off to drive cross country. It was very inspiring and motivational. I highly recommend the challenging adventure!

Thanks for your continued support and patience while I was away!

Arguing is unhealthy

2009-09-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

A healthy debate is great! An emotional argument most often offends, promotes more anger, hostility, animosity, and an entire array of negativity including poor health. Generally arguing occurs because individuals are upset and lose the ability to communicate effectively. There really is not need to argue ever! Once a person or persons can realize that they are no longer able to address the issues at hand without feeling negative, they should learn to take a break.

It is always good to find ways to resolve conflict, but arguing usually doesn't work! Talking works...communication works...everyone needs to learn the difference!

Suicide Prevention Week: Third leading cause of death in adolescents

2009-09-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

Suicide is an unpleasant and too often avoided topic. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 - 24. It is only third behind homicides and accidents as stated in the Amercian Association of Suicidology Statistics. And based on reports there are probably more suicides that are reported as homicides and accidents for a number of reasons. The statistical fact sheets are always overwhelming. Some of the youth facts are listed below from the 2006 Statistics. It takes almost 3 years for these annual statistics to be complied and publicized.

• Each day, there are approximately 11.5 youth suicides in our nation.
• Every 2 hours and 5 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide in our nation.
• In 2006, 216 children ages 10 to 14 completed suicide in the U.S.
• Suicide rates for those between the ages of 10-14 increased over 50% between 1981 and 2006.
• Maryland ranks 34 in 2006 and approximately 9.1 youth ages 15-19 completed suicide per every 100,000. That equals 4189 young people in 2006.

The primary focus of Suicide Prevention Week is to raise awareness that suicide can be prevented. If more people were informed about the warning signs and basic prevention skills many lived could be saved.

There is much to understand and learn about suicide. Everyone is not expected to become an expert, but just as people learn preventative measures for so many other safety and health issues, people should be motivated to learn more about the prevention of suicide.

It is important that people understand the trends, possible causes, and warning signs for youth suicide. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has published articles to help keep others informed.

One important point is that there is no type of person who commits suicide and the reason that any one person might consider suicide can be very different from the reasons that might cause another person to become suicidal. Everyone has mental health and can become ill or suicidal, so anyone could be at risk for suicide.

Warnings signs and symptoms of suicidal thinking are not always blatant or obvious but can be more subtle. Warnings signs are important to know and are listed on many reputable sites (warnings sig ns and risk factors), however, people must feel informed and confident about what to do when they recognize potential warning signs. Warning signs in children or adolescents might be even more masked or underlying since children are less able to recognize unhealthy thinking, are afraid, embarrassed, or have the needed vocabulary, and are more vulnerable in general.

There are many reputable sites and many professional ready to help provide information or intervention. Please be aware, get informed, and prepared to take action in the event you or someone you know is in need of help. A few minutes to listen, talk, learn, or find help could save your life or the life of someone you love.

Lifeline is a national suicide prevention organization among many available for assistance regarding suicide prevention and intervention. Grassroots Crisis Intervention Center is a local suicide prevention and intervention agency available located in Columbia, Maryland.

Please call if you or someone you know has any questions or concerns to get the support, resources, and help that can save a life.

Body Dysmorphia

2009-09-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

A good number of people especially women struggle with body image. Many people are not happy about what they think they look like. This type of thinking is normal to a certain point. When someone imagines that they appear to look uglier than most people would agree with or the thoughts of body imperfection or ugliness impair a person's functioning, then it is possible that a person is experiencing body dysmorphia.

Some professionals claim that unless a person meets all the criteria in the mental health handbook...(DSM IV), that individuals are healthy but unhappy. Many other professionals agree that happiness is great measurement of a person's ability to think in healthy ways and maintain psychological health. Also even mild symptoms of body dysmorphia often plays a role in other areas of life and functioning.

Below is a link defining and describing symptoms for body dysmorphia.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559

Feelings

2009-08-29T05:45:00.000-07:00

Our feelings are a result of what we think. You cannot have a feeling without a thought. Not physiological feelings, like hunger or pain, but psychological feelings. Your feelings or emotions result from what you are thinking. Yes this process can be so fast that it seems to be automatic or even that feelings occur before the thought.
Think about it this way, can you be afraid if you do not know you are in danger? Can you be sad about something before you know it happened? Can you be angry before you are aware of what someone did? Point is you cannot have an emotion unless you have a thought about something...
Examples:
Someone pointing a gun at you but you do not know he is there...you cannot feel afraid until you know he is pointing a gun at you.
Someone is killed in a car accident..you can only feel sad after you are told about the accident. You are not sad when it happens.
Someone robs your home or breaks into your car, you find out and then you get upset not while they are violating you.

So with that said...if you have a thought and then a feeling....if we can manage what we think then we can manage our feelings.
So if you think in unhealthy or negative ways ...guess what???
I bet you figured this out...you will have negative and unhealthy feelings!

Treatment Advocacy Center

2009-08-28T05:31:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest problems for some with a few specific types of mental illness is that one of the profound symptoms includes the inability to recognize the illness. These individuals truly believe they are healthy.

There are also other situations and factors that may cause an individual to not be able to recognize that he or she is inflicted with a mental health problem. A few common disorders include Schizophrenia, Bipolar, and Anosognosia. Please visit the link below and read these interesting facts about these disorders. Also this info will help understand what is going on and that these symptoms are real and affect many people.

The Treatment Advocacy Center provides assistance and information regarding these types of situations and what family or other persons who care can do.

www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org

Decision Making?

2009-08-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

How good are you at making good decisions for yourself? What motivates you? what makes you choose to do what you do?

Do you want to please others? Do you worry about what others think? Trying to impress others?

Who are you making happy and healthy with your decisions about health, finances, activities, career choices, education, relationships?

MMMMM......

Exercise daily

2009-08-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

One of the best things you can do to stay healthy in both mind and body is to get some exercise every day.

Few people make exercise a lifestyle and habit. It's a good habit.

Find what you enjoy because if you do not like what you are doing you will not continue..duh??

There are many activities that can get the blood flowing, muscles and joints moving...
Also do not forget the mental exercise ...a little positive thinking first thing in the morning will start your day off on a good POSITIVE note...the results are amazing!

If you are ill...

2009-08-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

When you are ill it is much harder to manage your emotions. It is important to make adjustments in order to care for yourself and minimize your stress as best as possible.

Allow yourself time to feel ill and be aware of your emotions. It is natural to be more irritable because you do not feel well. However, this is an opportunity to figure out and practice what works best for you when you are ill. Also if you make extra efforts to care for your psychological health during your medical challenge you will facilitate the healing process.

Ideas might include: alone time, do something you have no time to do when you are busy with your regular routine, like organize files or drawers, read a book, listen to music, meditate, plan holidays or your next vacation. Make yourself as comfortable as possible and utilize your support system. Allow other to take care of you and your responsibilities. It is OK. then show your appreciation.

You can be ill and miserable or you can be ill and be not so miserable ...that is up to you but the later will help you get better sooner.

Bottom line take good care of you...you deserve it !

Relationships

2009-08-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

If two people love one another and both want to be in a relationship then they can. Can they always work through their differences on their own. Not always. There are lots of good books but it also can be very helpful to speak with an objective person to help sort out the factors which cause conflict.

Learning skills to resolve conflict is critical for any relationship. All relationships have challenges and conflict.

Personality, needs, expectations, and approaches to daily routines or unusual events are all aspects to be considered and understood.

Understanding is key and each person must make reasonable effort to understand and compromise in order for any relationship to be healthy.

Getting along with others

2009-08-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

If you have trouble getting along with others or if you feel agitated most of the time maybe you could benefit from talking with someone to help you understand why you are feeling this way.

Sometimes individuals have imbalances in their brain chemistry which can cause negative thinking. The negative thoughts cause unpleasant feelings and then those feelings can result in unsafe, inappropriate and problematic behaviors.

Please care for your psychological health as you do your physical health!

Confusion about psychology

2009-08-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Part of the confusion about psychology and psychological well being is that it is quite challenging to tease apart what thoughts or behaviors are a result from genetic and physiological make up and which are a part of a learned process, or both, which is usually the case.

It is not certain that this can always be determined. Surely an unhealthy mind or way of thinking is not as simple as a broken arm.

You cannot look at someone or open up their brain and see anger for example. The chemicals in the brain that affect the way a person thinks are very complex and much a mystery still to the most well studied neuro psych doctors.

Though neuroscience has come a long way in recent years, the brain is so very complex that we have only just begun to unravel the wonders of what goes on inside to cause many brain functions, especially in regard to emotions.

The boundaries for where learned behavior starts and ends or where chemicals are predominantly running the show is multifaceted. These two overly simplified components of what makes people think, feel, and behave as they do are ever integrated and evolving.

For those who think they always know why people do what they do...
and those who always can tell others how they should think, feel, and behave...
please ... consider reading more about this topic that you already know so much about!

Stress

2009-08-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

Stress can be defined as any negative or unhealthy reaction or response to circumstances, events, thoughts, or people.

The wikipedia definition is,,,

Stress is a biological term which refers to the consequences of the failure of a human or animal to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats to the organism, whether actual or imagined.^[1] It includes a state of alarm and adrenaline production, short-term resistance as a coping mechanism, and exhaustion. Common stress symptoms include irritability, muscular tension, inability to concentrate and a variety of physical reactions, such as headaches and elevated heart rate.^[2]

Stress includes a comprehensive array of symptoms, the most problematic is that people are beginning to accept stress as a ok part of life....NO individuals must minimize stress and learn to be healthier in the way they react or respond to everything!

MINDCare and Crime

2009-07-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

If you have read any of my previous writings you know that I am amazed over and over that people do not think they have mental health.

Everyone has mental health. Some people are healthier than others. Psychological well being is the sum of genetics and learned behaviors. These two components are integrated in an ongoing fashion, meaning one constantly affects the other so it can get very complicated. However, there is much that can be understand by this simplification.

People make choices. What causes people to choose to do what they do is a result of how they feel and what they think. Why they think as they do can be either genetic or learned.

So people who commit crimes...do they learn that committing crimes is the best choice for them ? or is their some genetic predisposition that causes them to think it is OK or appropriate to commit crimes?

Either way criminal behavior is a result of poor mental health or psychological well being.
All mental health is not about diagnosable illness...it is about all aspects of thinking, feeling, and behaving in healthy ways!

Being Flexible: Adaptation is a sign of intelligence

2009-07-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

People in general are so stressed out. Individuals have so much anxiety and worry about far more things than they can really do anything about. Some good ideas for being healthier might include:

Turn off the TV
Read a book, listen to music, etc.
Be flexible- Adaptation is a sign of intelligence
Do things that are intellectually and physically stimulating and challenging
Learn to relax
Learn to listen to what others are saying
Be flexible- Adaptation is a sign of intelligence
Learn to prioritize...(what is really important)
Focus on your self and your life
Practice Self Care - Psychological and Physical
Choose a healthy lifestyle....Duh...

Seems pretty basic and general...try it ...

Naturally everyone needs to find what works for them. Hopefully, everyone will one day be smart enough to at least make healthy choices regarding the factors in their life that they have the ability to change or manage.

We cannot "control" others or events in the world...but we can choose how we manage ourselves and how to react to all that surrounds us.

A little bit about anger

2009-07-24T15:48:00.000-07:00

Anger is a topic that can be discussed for hours. Many people struggle with ANGER management .

In fact many people struggle with many of their negative emotions because they do not know what to do about it.

For now lets just define it. Anger is a feeling. It is a negative feeling which also can be categorized as a type of stress. Anger is normal because everyone can get angry, but that does not mean it is healthy.

The only good thing about negative emotions is that they are a result of out thoughts and indicate what we are thinking and they can motivate people to make a change.

People generally do not like feeling angry because it is a negative feeling. Anger is unhealthy and most people wan to be healthy. So feeling bad or angry can make people wan tot make positive changes.

Also remember anger is a feeling and aggression is the behavior. Anger is ok and normal if managed in a healthy way, but aggression is not ok or safe.

People will get angry but the goal is to learn how to return to a healthy frame of mind as quickly as possible. People can learn and develop skills to be able to rarely stay in an angry state of mind for more than a few minutes if they choose.

So seek out this knowledge and practice these skill and choose not to be angry!

What affects our mood?

2009-07-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

Your mood can be affected by many things. Just as your physical health is affected by so many things so is your mental health or the way you think, feel, and behave.

The air you breath, food you eat, drinks you drink, how much water you drink, vitamins, and minerals. Behavior of others, natural disaster, the weather, illness, injury, social events, exercise, smoking, drugs, alcohol, medication, things you have been told, genetics, childhood experiences, etc etc.

Basically everything any of your senses has experienced can affect your mood. Your mood is a result of genetic make up and learning. Here's the cool part...you can manage your mood!

The brain and nervous systems are fascinating and ever working to be healthy. People should learn to listen to their bodies and do everything in their power to help their bodies stay healthy.

If you have learned to be grumpy then you can unlearn it if you want!

If there is a physiological reason that you do not feel well then you can seek treatment.
Treatment : Another blog for another day

What to do?

2009-07-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just not feel happy? Do you ever wonder why your mood is as it is? Most people just accept their mood as it is and say things like, " I am just in a bad mood today!"

Do people like being in a bad mood? Would they want to be in a good mood if they could be?

If people can understand that unless there is a physiological reason (i.e. - chemical imbalance ) , their mood or how they feel is a result of what they are thinking, then they would be able to manage their mood.

Interesting and true. If people could learn to think in healthy positive ways, they would feel and be healthier and more positive always.

Anything can be put in a positive perspective if people choose to do so! And the results are amazing! If you think not then find someone who can help you learn how and start enjoying the world as positive healthy people do!

It's Sunday

2009-07-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

It is Sunday...Think about how lucky you are to have vision, hearing, ability to walk, or are pain free. These are a few things that most take for granted.

What is psychology

2009-07-17T06:53:00.000-07:00

Psychology is the study of human behavior. Oh we can give it all sorts of fancier definitions but basically psychology is about the way human think, feel, and behave.
Everyone has psychological health because every one thinks feel and behaves. It really can be thought about that simply. Now how healthy is everyone ? That is the purpose of this blog.

There are hundreds of thousands of discussions and tons of facts, theories, and knowledge to be shared about how every individual's genetics and learned aspects of their psychological well being determines how healthy they are!

Got Psychological Health?

2009-07-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

When asking people in general..."do you have mental health?" people hesitate. They are not sure what to think. People think mental health mean mental illness. People need to understand that everyone has mental health just as they have physical health.

Balance

2009-07-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

Please think about being balanced. Some people are to serious and persnickety about everything while others are too aloof and indifferent in general terms.
Just consider being on a more even keel about things in general it is a good place to start to minimize stress.
Those who are worry warts so to speak are experience generalized stress while those who are aloof usually end procrastinating and falling behind with things and experience a more explosive situational stress. Both types are very unhealthy.

Medications

2009-07-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Medications could be a long long discussion. Just to give food for thought, after an interesting conversation with a friend who asked why do so many people take meds to make them think differently?

Well everyone wants to feel good. As a society people in general want things to be quick and easy.
So a pill is an easy answer. There are may potential problems with this quick fix. Way too much to get into on this blog today.

However a few things to consider are:

1-Much can be done to change brain chemicals without meds
i.e. - exercise, food, drink, sleep, many lifestyle habits, and especially our own ability to change our cognition or way of thinking.
2-There is not a lot of information about all the long term effects of many meds. A little concerning.
3-Medications often cause side effects that then might need to be medicated:-(
...then things can start to get very complex.
4-If a person can change their moods or symptoms without medication wouldn't it seem logical and in a bodies best interest to do whatever possible to be sure to exhaust every possible option first?

Sorry - Site under construction!

2009-07-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

MINDCare Consulting: Save the Parents
Options for learning about psychological well being and health care for parents
MINDCare was established to increase awareness and promote knowledge about psychological health care and well being especially for parents. It is not traditional mental health care.
It is about being happy. All parents deserve to learn easy ways to raise responsible children, while taking very good care of themselves.
MINDCare is an option for all individuals to get support and information, ask questions, and discuss issues they might be experiencing. Everyone deserves to learn about they way they think, feel, and behave.

Services are convenient and affordable
Areas of expertise include: Parenting, Anger Management, Suicide Prevention and Intervention
MINDCare provides in home support and assistance with Parenting Challenges, Anger Issues, Negative Thinking, Anxiety, Relationships, Communication, Guilt, Worry, and variety of problematic areas in life.
410-528-3329
Website: www.mindcareusa.com
Blogs: www.mindcareusa.blogspot.com, www.savetheparents.blogspot.com

Please visit www.MINDCareUSA.com for information and questions about MINDCare services!